Posts Tagged angry frothing rants

Retail Commentary

And now, a dose of retail commentary.

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Does anybody else see just a tiny bit of irony in selling pepper spray that helps fund breast cancer research? “Caution: Severe skin and eye irritant.” Yes. And also helps fund cancer research? How many severe skin and eye irritants can say that? I’m looking at you, Dran-o.

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I can say without the least bit of sarcasm that I loves me some Reese’s Puffs cereal. I also know the difference between breakfast food and candy, which is why I don’t eat them very often. I bake, so another difference that I know is the difference between whole grain and not-whole-grain. I tell you, whatever twisted logic has been used to put, “With whole grain guarantee,” on this box, what you are eating is, “whole grain,” like Horizon brand milk is “organic.” Oh, there may be a whole grain or two in there, but you’re still eating fucking candy drenched in milk. They even put the Hershey’s logo on there, but they made it really small so you’d still be fooled.

Oh, but the magazine aisle is where I really shine.

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Edmonton: Drug mis-education results in avoidable teen deaths

cloroxWhat’s the difference between MDMA and bleach? Nobody has to make propaganda to prevent people from drinking bleach. Seems kind of obvious, doesn’t it? Pretty much everyone agrees that drinking bleach has horrible down-sides and absolutely no up-side. So when parents tell kids that bleach is poison and don’t drink it, the rest of the world pretty much nods its head and agrees. Hence, people seldom drink bleach unless they intend to harm themselves.

MDMA and other illegal drugs are treated like bleach by the drug warriors. They say that illegal drugs are poison, and that the only answer is to never take them, ever. But the reality is that lots of people disagree with the drug warriors on this point. Lots of people think that illegal drugs have up-sides that offset their down-sides, and that becomes rapidly obvious to anyone who has any exposure to the world outside their front door. It doesn’t take much interacting with people to learn that lots of them think illegal drugs are awesome.

So, a kid’s parents and the government all tell her that drugs are poison and using even once can kill you. Her friends are telling her that they have used bunches of times and (statistically speaking) none of them have died yet. What do you think she does?

Apparently, she takes six pills and dies.

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Investment Managers Predict Bull Market?

While grocery shopping, I noticed the cover of this week’s Barron’s magazine. The cover article, “The Long View,” asks, “Is this bull run for real? Yes, say portfolio managers in our Big Money Poll. They expect the Dow to be up 7% by year end and 17% by the middle of next year.”

Yeah. Because these guys have been so good at calling stocks up until now. Last I checked, almost nobody predicted the total collapse of the American economy, and the people who did predict it got laughed off of their pundit-chair. Check out this video.

Please note that every. single. thing. that Peter Schiff says in this video came true, and other analysts were literally laughing at him. Now I’m supposed to believe they can call the Dow down to a percentage point?

Oh, and can you say “conflict of interest”? Lemme see. Portfolio managers say they expect the Dow to go up. And how do portfolio managers make money? Gosh, they make money when you invest with them. But you won’t invest with them if you think the Dow is going to go down. Gee, what possible reason could they have for saying the Dow is going up?

Seriously. Why does anybody listen to these people at all?

For more examples of bad advice, see Why the Real Estate Boom Won’t Bust and other funny books still for sale on Amazon at Boing Boing, Joshua Levi’s “Still For Sale” collection at joshualevi.com, and “Expert” But Bad Financial Advice Turns Off Decision-Making in the Brain at Discover Magazine.

Edit: Now here’s an example of a financial adviser I’d listen to. Results speak for themselves.

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