Guns. Fornication. Survivalist skills. Drug legalization. I’m a jack-booted liberal. Not in the sense of fascist enforcement of Leftist policies, but in the sense that I have a combination of traditionally right-wing (jack-boots) and left-wing (liberal) values.

I’m the Range Safety Officer at the shooting competition who suddenly feels out of place when law-enforcement competitors talk about arresting political demonstrators and drug offenders. I’m the participant in the anti-sexism discussion group who clams up when the topic shifts from gender issues to the stereotypical liberal hatred of guns. I have a bug-out bag in my car. In addition to food, medical, and survival supplies, it contains condoms and lube.

My name is Joshua Bardwell. I live in Knoxville. I currently share a home with my girlfriend, two cats, three chickens, and occasionally some pigs, depending on what time of year it is.

There are seldom fewer than two loaded guns in my home. I used to clean them at the dining room table, before I decided all that lead and chemicals at the table probably wasn’t a good idea, and moved to the basement. I once had a blood lead level of 39, which is one below the maximum recommended level for an adult. I stopped shooting at indoor ranges so much, and it went back down to normal pretty quickly. I have a concealed carry permit, and sometimes carry a pistol.

I’ve eaten most of the plants that grow wild in my back yard.  I am supremely irritated that people use herbicides to kill perfectly good edible plants (“weeds”). This is my third year gardening. I have about 1,000 square feet in my front yard. I started out planning for 500, but it got a little out of control. It’s stupid that I get so attached to my plants. When some of them inevitably die or get ravaged by animals, I sometimes feel sad enough that it makes me want to stop planting altogether.

After failing to hunt squirrels several trips in a row, I once slept on a wool blanket in the woods. Before dawn, I put on a ghillie suit and took position with a rifle on a hill overlooking a hickory grove that I had previously scouted. I lay as still as I could for three hours. I did not see a single fucking squirrel. You might call this a ridiculous amount of effort to put into squirrel hunting. I call it the lengths to which I’m willing to go in order to figure out a new skill. I have yet to even take a shot at a squirrel.

I design and install wireless networks for a living. I have worked for the same company since 1998. I like my job okay, but my real dedication is to the company and my co-workers. If the company shifted focus tomorrow and I had to learn a totally new field in order to continue to contribute to it, I probably would. Actually, that has already happened at least once so far.

I have been to Burning Man and many other Burning Man regional events. I like burns and burn culture so much that in 2007, I helped organize Alchemy: The Georgia Burn. I served on the Alchemy board of directors in 2008 and 2009, and was the Ranger team lead from 2007 to 2009. In 2010, I helped put on a theme camp called Fucking Awesome, which included fabricating a 32′ diameter geodesic dome, from scratch parts bought at a hardware store. My service to the Alchemy community is one of the things about which I feel most passionate and proud.